Friday, December 21, 2007

Curious about Discipline...

Maria over at Mommy of Four tagged me with this Meme about what our thoughts are on"thoughts" on "discipline" this is hard since I rarely think very hard about there a right answer?

I guess I should start by giving a little background on how my husband and I were raised, because I think, good or bad, that most of us either parent the way we were parented, or make a concerted effort to NOT parent the way we were parented. My husband and I are somewhere in the middle.

Rob's Dad was an MTI (Military Instructor) in other words, he was the guy who screams at everyone and looks scary and intimidating in Basic Training. I actually have pictures of him and his brothers lined up outside their rooms in the morning for inspection. So discipline in his house, to say the least, was to the extreme. I, on the other hand, was sort of an afterthought. This isn't a pity post, really. My parents had me in an effort to save their marriage when they were both in their early forties. My sisters were 18 and 20. Anyway, long story short, it didn't work. My mom was mostly exhausted by then and overcome with her new role as divorcee, single parent, grandparent and my Dad was really busy with his new wife and family. Soooo, I really didn't have any structure or discipline at all. My sister kind of took over where she could, and my mom and I ended up living with her and her family. I was loved, don't get me wrong. There are all kinds of families out there, mine was one of the many different ones. I think of my nephews as my little brothers....

Where does that leave us and our kids? First I would say BALANCED. Rob's need to be more "laid back" and tendency to let things go, with a "honey, they're boys" and my need for structure and control tend to balance each other out. Next, I think I would say CHOICES. Our boys are 12 and 9, so when they do something wrong, I try to stress the fact that this was a bad choice, that doesn't necessarily make them a bad person. They also have choices concerning what their discipline should entail. Do they want to have the TV taken away or go to bed an hour early? I Confess, I yell. I don't like to yell, but I think it comes from not being heard unless my volume is on high. I should stress though, that we, as a family, are loud in general and whether it's happy yelling or mad yelling, there is usually yelling in our house. Finally, I think, a certain SENSE of HUMOR is needed in any aspect of parenting especially discipline. Sometimes Rob and I look at each other after a situation where the kids have gotten in trouble and just crack up. I can remember an incident recently where the boys had been fighting, and Britain wouldn't let Landon play one of his games. To get him back Landon went in Britain's room and blew his nose on his brothers pillow. Disgusting, I know, but a part of me had to respect the pure genius of his sneakiness as well.

wow...this was really interesting reading what everyone thinks about this issue.

I'm tagging Leslie, Christi, Stephanie, Kylie and Kim

what you need to do

Write your thoughts. Copy the above paragraph with your own thought attached. Tag 5 new people to do this. Then comment back to me.

Thanks everyone!


dianna said...

Sounds like you guys are doing fine...don't you wish each one came with instructions?

Lucy Filet said...

Hi Amy! Thanks for tagging me:). Because it will take a lot of thought for me, I'll write up my paragraph next week. Have a great Christmas! PS I'm in Orlando:) Not a secret anymore!

dianna said...

i just read through some of your past posts and you freakin' crack me up!
tee hee~thanks for the giggle {i soooo needed it}*!*

mayorofcrazytown said...

Hey chickie. Ok well I posted my gimped up parenting thoughts, but I have no clue who to tag. Help. I seriously need help figuring this all out.

mayorofcrazytown said...

i totally forgot to say that this is fun and i meant figuring out the blogging not the discipline! :)

Maria said...

Hi Amy! I enjoyed reading your thoughts. I found it was actually fun! Hope you have a great Christmas!

Lucy Filet said...

Finally posted my thoughts on discipline. I tagged my sister, sister in law, and my 3rd child's godmother. Should be interesting to see what they think:). Thanks again for tagging me, it's fun.

Oh, and yes, I'd be interested in the deck of me challenge, where's that one again?